written 05/14/2025
mourning
small and short, but large in presence.
a mind that never rests, never really asleep,
for she was told, imagination can teleport you worlds away.
special in the heart and soul,
always holds her faith in front as she kneels to pray.
taught to her was the word of god,
and the life of the prophet lord jesus,
who she believed embraced her life in every possible way.
worth the prayers, glory, and praise,
she felt her heart protected,
along with those she loved so deeply,
and held so close and dear.
she prayed for help, and for healing at times,
but mostly for those that were afraid.
god would only bring good and blessed things,
to this girl and her mother, sure as she would pray.
could she have the strength to defend her mom, she asked,
from all the scary gangs?
to stop the men that threatened their safety,
to be the strongest warrior mom had, no matter what it takes.
nightmares here, and panic there,
but nothing a bigger scare,
than the threat she thought her daddy posed
to her sweet mama bear.
along comes someone who makes her smile,
in a way she hadn't seen;
not cry, or fear or worry any, but gave her
mother peace somehow,
perhaps this was the prayer.
thank you, god, she whispered aloud before she lay for bed,
for sending us a good man to keep us safe, he swore and he declared.
this man was good, in the beginning at least,
as far as the girl could see;
however, he told stories of a dad she had not seen.
scary stories of how he yelled,
and called her mother names,
a bad guy that punched and hit her mom,
just to shift the blame.
these stories made the girl feel scared,
and soon they slipped into the reel of never-ending nightmares.
she tried to pray to god for help,
for jesus to keep them away;
but it felt as if the man who shared them,
wanted her to feel unsafe.
perhaps he wanted this little girl to cling to him,
and develop a connection with his caring,
loving, available self.
maybe it was his rhetoric, or possibly all the games,
but the girl knew somehow that this wasn't meant to be.
her mom was gone to travel for work,
and the worst began to happen;
she couldn't have known that these things were wrong,
as she didn't know the truth.
the girl felt strange, uncomfortable you could say,
as progression began.
as told by the man, she behaved properly,
and did no wrong to him,
but she had her doubts about him running deep,
her body became aware.
he did things that she did not share,
not even to herself;
he stole the choices that make a kid,
and ended the life she thus far knew,
forcing her to grow before she could,
and pushing her to change herself,
make herself as digestible as bread.
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